Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Alternate TV Show Taglines

Summer is upon us, that sweaty season marked with rooftop BBQs, vodka-filled watermelons, and many, many reminders to stay inside and watch television.

Anyway, here's a quick survey of the ads for some of the new (and a few of the old) shows, complete with some alternate eye-catching taglines.

CBS's Swingtown

Actual Tagline: The 70's are in full swing.

Alternate Tagline: Three women. One zipper. That's it.

Alternate Tagline 2: Swinging it swing down in the swing-swing.*

*"swing" is another word for "sex."

NBC's Nashville Star

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Actual Tagline: NBC's All-American Summer

Alternate Tagline: As American as the dark shadow of Billy Ray Cyrus mournfully playing guitar on a fake beach!

Alternate Tagline 2: Who will be the next Chris Gaines?

Showtime's Secret Diary Of A Call Girl

Actual Tagline: A new series about making it…in the city.

Alternate Tagline: Like if Mary Tyler Moore had sex…for money.

Alternate Tagline 2: One glamorous, glamorous prostitute gets stuck in a giant, giant martini glass…in the city.

ABC's The Mole

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Actual Tagline: 12 will play…1 will betray.

Alternate Tagline: Espionage has never been this boring.

Alternate Tagline 2: It's totally not Mark…or is it? Look, just please watch this.

E!'s Living Lohan

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Actual Tagline: One tough mother.

Alternate Tagline: She puts the "mother" in "motherfucking crazy-ass greedy attention-seeking stage mom."

Alternate Tagline 2: Ever wonder how the other Lohans live? No? Well, okay, never mind then.

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