Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Alternate TV Show Taglines

Summer is upon us, that sweaty season marked with rooftop BBQs, vodka-filled watermelons, and many, many reminders to stay inside and watch television.

Anyway, here's a quick survey of the ads for some of the new (and a few of the old) shows, complete with some alternate eye-catching taglines.

CBS's Swingtown

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Actual Tagline: The 70's are in full swing.

Alternate Tagline: Three women. One zipper. That's it.

Alternate Tagline 2: Swinging it swing down in the swing-swing.*

*"swing" is another word for "sex."

NBC's Nashville Star

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Actual Tagline: NBC's All-American Summer

Alternate Tagline: As American as the dark shadow of Billy Ray Cyrus mournfully playing guitar on a fake beach!

Alternate Tagline 2: Who will be the next Chris Gaines?

Showtime's Secret Diary Of A Call Girl

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Actual Tagline: A new series about making it…in the city.

Alternate Tagline: Like if Mary Tyler Moore had sex…for money.

Alternate Tagline 2: One glamorous, glamorous prostitute gets stuck in a giant, giant martini glass…in the city.

ABC's The Mole

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Actual Tagline: 12 will play…1 will betray.

Alternate Tagline: Espionage has never been this boring.

Alternate Tagline 2: It's totally not Mark…or is it? Look, just please watch this.

E!'s Living Lohan

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Actual Tagline: One tough mother.

Alternate Tagline: She puts the "mother" in "motherfucking crazy-ass greedy attention-seeking stage mom."

Alternate Tagline 2: Ever wonder how the other Lohans live? No? Well, okay, never mind then.

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