Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Disturbing Behavior

They say that in about 10 years, there will be well over a thousand cable channels from which to choose. It's a fair bet that the stupefyingly bad horror film Disturbing Behavior will be aired between infomercials on most of them. When a good-looking but otherwise really normal Chicago high-school kid (James Marsden) moves to a small town in Washington state, he thinks it's the same old scene, with the other good-looking stoners, popular jocks, silly-looking geeks, and ruggedly handsome gearheads all hanging out in their normal niches. But it's different, because the townspeople are letting the squeaky-clean popular kids get away with murder—literally! Apparently rape, too, though all that happens off-screen where nobody has to deal with it in any way. This is, of course, just the thing that stoners, geeks, and gearheads everywhere always knew would happen someday, so the new kid just spends his time trying to date the attractive metal chick. That is, until he realizes that everyone in class is being brainwashed, drugged, and given pineal-gland implants by the, uh, eugenically minded, self-improvement-oriented, mad brain surgeon—well, guidance counselor, who wants everybody to live up to their potential, only in a really, really scary way. This Salem's Lot/Tony Robbins/Dawson's Creek mix might have been merely bad had it been done with a little more care, perhaps deserving rental time with The Lost Boys. As it sits, it's sewage.

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