Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The next trailer is for Fifty Shades Of Grey is here. The previous trailer titillated you with a dowdy Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) longing to see what makes Christian (Jamie Dornan) tick. For a moment, we were teased with the executive’s rippling physique and his adrenaline-fueled, extreme lifestyle. Fleeting seconds of furtive pleasure granted us access to rough, cloistered urges of bondage and submission. Then, right as we were on the heady cusp of being overtaken by its debauched pleasure, it all ended precipitously. Not unlike the abrupt frustration of having to slam shut that copy of Fifty Shades Of Grey because Dad just walked in, right during one of the good parts.


Fortunately, a new trailer is here to give you a reshuffling of mostly the same scenes, cut with a few more seconds of new footage. Fifty Shades Of Grey knows you want the whole thing, but it’s cruelly holding back—it knows you’re naughty, and it’s what you deserve. What new footage there is points to the possibility that Christian Grey is not actually human at all, but rather a sleek android powered by carnal pleasures and programmed to not convey human emotion. Or maybe that’s just Dornan. It also has a new Beyoncé track, “Haunted.”

Fifty Shades Of Grey, based on E.L. James’ novel, (based on Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight), is set to open on Valentine’s Day, making it the perfect date movie for fans of kinky bedroom activities. It may also satisfy the urges of curious people who couldn’t bring themselves to be caught reading James’ book.

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