Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Finally! A Movie Where Love Happens

You know, there are so many movie posters these days that leave waaay too much to the imagination. You'll see two very attractive people embracing, or smiling at one another underneath a cutesy title and you'll think, "Gosh, those two are soooo perfect for each other! I really hope they fall in love. I just don't know if I can take it if they don't." And then you turn away from the poster, and once again feel the flat dull reality of your little meaningless life swallow you whole down its hideous throat. Oh, how you want to see those people on screen falling in love! It's the only time you feel you can breathe.  

The sad part is that you'll never know if those movie-people fall in love unless you see the movie, but, yet, you don't want to see the movie if they don't fall in love. Ugh! It's the world's worst Catch-22. And so you spend most of your little life wandering around cold and disappointed, never feeling the warmth of an onscreen formulaic cinematic romance, and constantly haunted by the ghosts of all these stillborn romantic comedy relationships.

But, no more. Finally, at long last, a movie-person has heard your anguished cries and made a poster for a romantic comedy that leaves absolutely nothing to chance:

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Love! It happens! Just like shit, but the opposite! It's guaranteed. Just look at the beige expanse of Jennifer Aniston's face—romance is right around the corner for her. It has to be. The title says so. If you knew what happiness felt like, it would probably be this feeling!

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