How To Inspire Great Works Of Art: Lessons From Sean Connery

(Via Daily Mail)

1. Invite the poolboy over. Sometimes even a muse needs a muse, you know? How else will you get that enigmatic look that is pitched perfectly between condescending sneer and envious, possibly drunken gaze?


2. Don your finest tomato-red ascot along with your brightest white blouse. The contrast! Oh, the magnificent contrast! The artist will probably overheat from all the inspiration you're providing.

3. As for setting, two words: green screen. This way the artist can project whatever background she wants behind you. Or, you know, leave it green for that standing-in-front-of-a-green-screen look.

4. Position yourself behind the poolboy like a menacing, hungry shadow. This pose is so mysterious it will defnitely draw the viewer in and haunt him/her for days. Are you going to pounce on the pool boy? Or simply settle in for a nice long bout of staring? Is this a prelude to leapfrog? Sexy leapfrog? The possibilities are endless.


5. Most importantly be patient and hold your pose. Poster paints can be a very challenging medium.

Most muses will only manage a few of these steps, but not Sean Connery, good sport that he is. The result? The creepiest celebrity painting (non-Michael-Jackson category) in recent memory, and his wife apparently gets to call herself an artist. Everyone is a winner!