Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

James Cameron Says, "This One's For All The Females..

Girl, James Cameron director of Titanic, knows what you want, and he is here to service you. Perhaps you'd like some luscious red ripe strawberries dipped in the finest dark chocolate (Scharffen Berger 70% Cocoa—that's bittersweet, girl, just like James Cameron, director of Titanic's love for you.) Or maybe licorice is more your thing? Well, James Cameron, director of Titanic, has flown in an array of licorices from the finest licorice purveyors in all of Europe, and arranged them in an enticing fan of deliciousness over there on that antique credenza, just for you. Go ahead, breathe in their intoxicating aroma. Mmm, smells sexy, right? That's just James Cameron, director of Titanic, girl. He knows just how to seduce you.

Shhh, why don't you relax on this plush circular pillow stuffed with the softest swan feathers? That's right, girl: James Cameron, director of Titanic, slaughtered seventeen of the most beautiful swans and stripped them of their feathers just so you could luxuriate in a more luxurious manner. Also, James Cameron, director of Titanic, heard how you were once bitten by a swan when you were a young girl-child and it upset James Cameron, director of Titanic, greatly. Those swans were clearly burning with jealousy because of your beauty, girl, and James Cameron, director of Titanic, had to destroy them. Mmm, you like that, girl? That's how James Cameron, director of Titanic, defends your honor against renegade waterfowl. He will do anything to entice you.

Did you know that James Cameron, director of Titanic, made a new movie for you, girl? Mmmm, yeah, made it just for you. You won't be able to resist it. Sit back, sink into your slaughtered swan pillow, and let James Cameron, director of Titanic, seduce you into watching it:

Our biggest challenge right now is letting females, in either younger or older quadrants, understand that this is a movie for them as well. It’s not like Titanic, where it’s obvious—you know, you’ve got Kate and Leo staring into each other’s eyes on posters. Avatar sort of plays in the ad materials as a boy’s movie, which I don’t think it is, but what do I know about it.


Aww, yeah. Females in any and all of the quadrants, James Cameron is making speech patterns at your auditory processing centers. Please point your ocular receptors at Avatar. It is for your variation of the species as well. End Marketing Transmission.

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