Jerry Bruckheimer is behind many of the worst movies in recent memory, but at least he leaves an unmistakable imprint on his films, as strong as that of nearly any director or writer. It doesn't matter what genre he's working in or who his collaborators are: His bigger-faster-louder aesthetic still carries the day. Straight from the fiery, churning bowels of high-concept hell comes Kangaroo Jack, Bruckheimer's idea of kid-friendly fare, and some of the longest 90 minutes ever committed to film. Bruckheimer and director David McNally's follow-up to the self-improvement-through-skankiness epic Coyote Ugly, Kangaroo Jack stars loud thespians Jerry O'Connell and Anthony Anderson as ostensibly lovable losers who are sent to the land of Yahoo Serious by O'Connell's stepdad (a visibly embarrassed Christopher Walken) to deliver $50,000 to a mysterious stranger. Of course, any partnership in which O'Connell is the sane, sensible one is doomed to run into problems, and sure enough, the hapless duo accidentally runs over the titular marsupial, which, as a result of circumstances far too stupid to explain, absconds with Anderson's jacket and the cash. Kangaroo Jack's premise, trailer, and commercials promise little more than the spectacle of two enthusiastic actors being kicked over and over again by a sassy, computer-animated kangaroo—and, sadly, the film fails to deliver even that. Bruckheimer is Hollywood's king of mindless excess, but McNally stingily parcels out shots of the kangaroo, as though he's aware that they're the film's only selling point. Kangaroo Jack co-screenwriter Steve Bing made tabloid headlines a while back by (wrongly) denying that he'd impregnated actress Elizabeth Hurley. It's a perplexing mystery why anyone, no matter how callous or cruel, would deny fathering the child of one of the world's most beautiful women, yet take public credit for co-authoring this.

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