Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar leads a Zack Attack on Bruce Willis in Precious Cargo

Given that Zack Morris was running Ponzi schemes while he was still in puberty, there’s a good chance that the Saved By The Bell protagonist would eventually spiral into a life of real crime (who knew Screech would beat him to it?). Conveniently enough, the trailer for Heist director Max Adams’ Precious Cargo plays out like an episode of Saved By The Bell: The Post-College, Pre-WITSEC Years.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who portrayed the charming yet conniving teen for years, is seen here as Jack, the “Michelangelo of thieves.” His girlfriend Karen (Claire Forlani)—who happens to be a beautiful brunette whose name begins with the letter “K,” hello—has dubbed him as such, which is what draws the attention of Eddie (Bruce Willis). Eddie’s a crime boss who maybe double-crosses Karen at some point, which is not very Principal Belding-like behavior, but he is bald(ing), so we’ll take what we can get.

After Eddie threatens Karen’s life, Jack calls on his friends, or “merry band of misfits,” to help him pull off another heist to somehow cancel out whatever job Karen botched. At least, that’s what we think is going on here—we’re still trying to decide which of the bearded guys is A.C. Slater and which is Screech. The Lisa Turtle stand-in is decidedly less glamorous here, but she is a sharpshooter.


Precious Cargo will crash into theaters and VOD on April 22.

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