Michael Bay: Okay, so boom goes the sphinx. Boom goes the pyramid. Boom! Boom! Boom! Go the HondaCivicstrons we positioned all around the entrance to the tomb. And then, whhhhhhhhiiiiiiirrrrr, click, clack, crunch, sweepy spin thwaaaack! Here comes Beefy, our hero, ready to kick some ass. Zot! Crunchy noise, crunchy noise, Taco Bell product placement, claaaaaaaang claaaaaaaaaaang, and we're done!

Shia LeBeouf: [sighs] I told you not to call me Beefy. Just tell me where my mark is, Bay. Jesus.

(Via EW)

Michael Bay: [pops his lips and points] It's right there…

Shia LeBeouf: [pointing] There? Then why the hell are we all the way over here belly flopping on the sand like it's…

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Michael Bay: Uzebekistan?

Shia LeBeouf: What? No. I was gonna say "like it's spring break or something." What is wrong with you?

Michael Bay: Look, Shi-town, we gotta talk about your hand. We have to write it into the script. I thought maybe we could just CGI you a new hand, or just have you hold a huge fireball or a purse or something the whole time, but it's a pain in the neck, so we gotta go back and just write it in. So I was thinking: Space Bridge!

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Shia LeBeouf: What does that even mean?

Michael Bay: Doesn't matter. Your character had a lil' run-in, a lil' tangle, a lil' thwaaaaaaaaacck crush boom! with a space bridge, and your hand went all, "Agggggghhhhh!" Then the space bridge goes "Kbooooooowwwwwwwww!" End of scene.

Shia LeBeouf: But what is a space bridge? How is it supposed to crush my hand if no one knows what it is?

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Michael Bay: Fair enough, Shi-ya-later. What about a Heiroglyphatron? Or a galact-o-chimp? Or a bumble-span?

Shia LeBeouf: What are those?

Michael Bay: Space bridges! And they're locked in an eternal battle! Good against evil. Magical shape-shifting bridge against magical shapeshifting bridge. RrrrrrrrrrrrrPOW! 'Splosions 'splosions splosions. Credits.

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Shia LeBeouf: Fine. Whatever. My hand gets crushed by the space bridge. Let's just do that.

Michael Bay: Boom.

Shia LeBeouf: What?

Michael Bay: Boom.

Shia LeBeouf: You're just saying "boom" now.

Michael Bay: Boom.

Shia LeBeouf: [sighs] Boom.

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