Say what you will about Fireproof—that it's a giant sooty quilt of overlapping mixed metaphors, that it proves Kirk Cameron doesn't understand acting, that it hates women—but it's a movie with an important lesson for us all. Actually, two lessons:

1. Marriage is like a terrible fire, so make sure yours is fireproof because nothing is better than a fire-retardant fire.

2. The best way to break your porn addiction is to take your computer out to your front lawn and beat it senseless with a baseball bat.

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Now the producers of Fireproof are back with another movie, Letters To God, and this one has an important lesson too: God is a mailman—a mailman who'll open your private letters, read them, and then date your mom.

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(via IWatchStuff)

Letters To God seems to have a secondary lesson as well: Don't throw away your magical powers amulet on a whim after the Harvest Dance when you're a young, impetuous teen witch—because one day, in the future, you may need it to cast a revenge spell on a mailman who was pretending to be God, and you'll regret that you don't have it.

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