You certainly don't need to be some sort of snobbish Francophile to have decided that a huge percentage of Hollywood films range in quality from depressingly mediocre to actively awful. Every once in a while, though, a Hollywood movie comes out that is so thoroughly, bizarrely terrible that it transcends all rational standards of quality to become perversely fascinating. Jack Frost belongs in that category, as does 1997's John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest, and so does Simply Irresistible, a fantastical romantic comedy in which Sarah Michelle Gellar plays the blandly ditsy chef of a cute little restaurant that's on the verge of going out of business. Everything changes, however, when magical gay man Christopher Durang (playing a sort of Cupid by way of Truman Capote) and his magical crab (yes, magical crab) enter Gellar's life and turn everything she prepares into a potent hallucinogen/aphrodisiac. This brings her into contact with dreamy businessman Sean Patrick Flanery (channeling the spirit of David Cassidy), who can't quite decide whether he's falling in love with tasty morsel Gellar or her scrumptious culinary efforts. Like a mid-'70s TV movie on a serious mushroom high, Simply Irresistible is somehow both formulaic and bat-shit insane. It's sort of a given that films in this genre won't be rigorous cerebral exercises, but Simply Irresistible is almost hypnotic in its unyielding stupidity. Which is a good thing, since its loopy, brain-damaged light-headedness is about all it has going for it. Like Jack Frost, Simply Irresistible needs to be seen to be believed. Be forewarned, however, that those who indulge in a mood-altering substance before seeing the film will probably enjoy it a whole lot more than those going in sober.