Watching Debbie Gibson skillfully portray "Girl Who Has A Boyfriend Who Apparently Only Hangs Out In Central Park" in her 1989 video "Lost In Your Eyes," who could guess that 20 years later that porkpie-hatted songstress would be uttering lines like "We'll get them to kill each other!" for her role as "Scientist, Or Something" in the straight-to-DVD, bad-movie-that-sounds-like-it-will-be-funny-to-watch-but-is-actually-just-tedious, soon-to-be drunk-movie-night classic, Mega Shark Vs. Octopus?

At least she has 47 cases of unopened Electric Youth fragrance in her basement to remind her of the good ole days.

I know what you're thinking: "The Thrilla in Manila? That seems like a poor analogy for an epic, plane-swiping, submarine-crushing, undersea battle between unfrozen Mega-Shark and unfrozen Giant Octopus." But it's actually not an analogy. The trailer doesn't show it, but Don King makes a cameo as a tough-talking, no-nonsense marine boxing promoter who convinces the Giant Octopus and Mega-Shark to put on boxing gloves and settle their differences in an underwater gargantu-ring near the Phillippines before a live, pay-per-view audience. Ridiculous? Not for this movie. 

Advertisement