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There Are No Sex Scenes In Avatar, Only Ultimate Intimacy Scenes

Attention females in any and all of the quadrants: James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, knows how you want your blue creature sex scenes, and he is here to please you. Shhh. Girl, you know it's true. James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, regrets that the most apt description of this situation is the chorus from a popular Milli Vanilli song, but, girl, you have to admit: That is one powerful song. Perfect for many occasions, sensual or otherwise. Relax, sink back into that suede bean-bag chair, which is the softest variety of bean-bag chair available in the continental United States. James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, would gladly pay the extensive shipping and handling costs to get you a polar-bear-fur-covered bean-bag chair—the softest variety of bean-bag chair in existence—from Alaska if that is what you desire.

James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar, is all about your desires, girl. He is so sensual he doesn't even make "sex scenes"—he makes ultimate intimacy scenes that are only available as DVD extras. That is just the kind of director he is. You like that, girl? Well, brace yourself against the super-soft suede of your cushy bean-bag chair, because when you read the script for the deleted Avatar ultimate intimacy scene you will no doubt be knocked senseless by the force of its sheer erotic power.

From Movieline:

He puts his face close to hers. She rubs her cheek against his. He kisses her on the mouth. They explore each other.

Then she pulls back, eyes sparkling.

Kissing is very good. But we have something better.

She pulls him down until they are kneeling, facing each other on the faintly glowing moss.

Neytiri takes the end of her queue and raises it. Jake does the same, with trembling anticipation. The tendrils at the ends move with a life of their own, straining to be joined.

MACRO SHOT — The tendrils INTERTWINE with gentle undulations.

JAKE rocks with the direct contact between his nervous system and hers. The ultimate intimacy.

They come together into a kiss and sink down on the bed of moss, and ripples of light spread out around them.

THE WILLOWS sway, without wind, and the night is alive with pulsing energy as we DISSOLVE TO —

LATER. She is collapsed across his chest. Spent. He strokes her face tenderly.


Mmm-hmm. Don't get up from your suede bean-bag chair just yet, girl. Here's a sneak peek at the ultimate intimacy.

That's right: it's like Crossroads but with blue creatures. That's what James Cameron, director of Titanic and Avatar means when he says "ultimate intimacy."

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