We’re sure there’s a plot hidden deep within one of the lace-fronts in this Arsenal trailer, but it’s almost beside the point. Our apologies to first-time screenwriter Jason Mosberg, who we’re sure dutifully watched several latter-day Nicolas Cage and John Cusack movies to imbue his script with just the right about of skeeviness and outlandishness. The truth is, we don’t even need to know what events will have to transpire to bring Cusack and Cage—one in a do-rag, the other a Kate Micucci-inspired wig—together. We’re just grateful for whatever family turmoil there is between Adrian Grenier and Johnathon Schaech, who play brothers, that pushes the latter into Cage’s employ. Because then we get to see the mustachioed crime boss throw a hissy fit shortly before ordering some white guy in corn rows to kidnap Schaech’s daughter. We’re also treated to what amounts to a low-rent, comic-book hero summit between Jonah Hex (Schaech), Ghost Rider/Big Daddy (Cage), and Aquaman (Grenier, but as Vince Chase). Cusack’s kind of out in the cold there, but again, he has a do-rag, so he’s probably okay.

Arsenal was directed by Steven C. Miller, who was behind this year’s Marauders. It’ll be on display, bad wigs and all, beginning January 6.