Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Twilight: The Movie The Board Game

As you've probably become slightly enraged about by now, there are currently four movies based on successful Hasbro board games in the works: Clue (again), Ridley Scott's Monopoly ("Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Are you not entertained?"), Michael Bay'sOuija, and Candy Land (which sounds basically like a live action Coraline and/or a colossal mistake).  Certainly movies have been based on a lot less, but Monopoly: The Movie? Russell Crowe will make a dynamic Thimble.

We won't know the true scope of the ridiculousness of these board-games-turned-movies until their release, but what about a movie-turned-board-game? Specifically, an abstinent vampire teen romance turned board game? Thank God for MTV News because they got the exclusive on the Twilight board game.

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Wow. As it turns out, a terrible movie makes for possibly the worst board game ever. Such is the danger of switching mediums. So the Twilight board game is just pictures of scenes from the movie pasted onto a board and cards filled with questions like, "Are You Team Edward?" I'm pretty sure there are several Twilight fanatics who have already made that board game out of construction paper at their last slumber party (during the Robert Pattinson scrapbooking hour, right before the designated pillow fight time).

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Hopefully there's at least a "Watch Edward sparkle like he took a bath in body glitter" square, and an "Edward becomes enraged because you want to make out" square, and a card that reads "Go directly to Sexual Frustration Jail. Do not stop at the thunderstorm vampire baseball game. Do not pause to laugh at Peter Facinelli's make-up." 

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