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Usher Would Like To Buy You A Drink, Have Sex With You In Public

Rihanna's "Umbrella," the song that ey ey ey'd its way into your brain last summer like a slowly twisting screwdriver driven into your ear canal, used lots of weather and umbrella imagery as metaphors for a long-term relationship. Usher's "Love In This Club," one of the many candidates for song you'll want to take human form just so you can kill it by the end of this summer, is about how Usher wants to have public sex with you in this club, if that's possible. (Don't worry: Usher will buy you drinks. All you have to do is tell him what you're sipping on, so, you know, good deal.)

You may be wondering which club Usher means by "this club." Thanks to the video below, we now know. It's the club with all the spotlights positioned at eye-level for maximum blindness. Also, it might be a ghost club cause when Usher went back to it the next day, he could only find the charred remains of what used to be a club, and an old man told him that 10 years ago—to the day—on prom night, the club was destroyed in a horrible fire. "But…But..I was here just last night, " Usher replied incredulously. "I made love right here. In this club." Yes. The Scary Story To Tell In The Dark Club. That club.



Isn't it nice that Usher wants to "make love" to the ghost girl in the crowded ghost club with all the other ghosts watching? It's not about "having sex," or "fucking" with a bunch of other people around in a club that's an illusion—it's about romance.

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