Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The first Zombieland proved that its central foursome (played by Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Jesse Eisenberg, and Abigail Breslin) has what it takes to survive in a world filled with the undead. But the arrival of its decade-later sequel made us realize that not every character would be cut out for the apocalypse. So, at the press junket for Zombieland: Double Tap, we asked the returning stars—plus franchise newcomers Rosario Dawson and Zoey Deutch—how some of their other notable roles from film and television would fare. Would Josie And The Pussycats’ Valerie fight her way through a zombie horde? Might Mark Zuckerberg last without his personal social network? And could SNL’s “Actress” get out of her head long enough to avoid being zombie food? We put the cast to task with some surprising results.

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